Self love is something everyone is working on whether it be conscious or not. The choices we make in our day-to-day lives are to create a desired outcome that in some way cause us to feel a sense of relief. Not all acts that give us relief are founded in self-love, in fact quite the opposite. Learning to discern the two is a process but worth the while and one that I deeply recommend.
Self-love acts are long term, full of forward moving energy and progress that builds you up and wants you to feel good whereas the opposite is dead-ended, stagnant fixes that burn out quickly leaving you feeling even worse then when you begun.
If you're looking to live a life that is full of love and integrity you have to start with yourself. Here is a list of simple small acts that you can do to boost those feel good vibrations.
1. Take yourself out on a date
I'm not your girl for advice on dates with another human but I am your go-to for going solo, as I have been on many (I love them). Something that you usually enjoy doing with a partner no doubt you can do alone. Going to the movies or a show, a picnic date or a trip to your favourite bookshop. Treat it as though you're headed to meet someone, organise what you want to do, write it in your diary, dress in whatever makes you feel confident, get those excitement butterflies and enjoy.
2. Move your body
Not only do our bodies love to move doing activities such as bush walking, swimming, dancing, tree climbing and yoga they're a great way to be alone and can also be ridiculously fun. You don't need to be a body builder to reap the benefits of physical exercise, light movement is just as important. Put on your favourite feel good playlist and you're halfway there!
3. Write A Letter To Yourself
With an intention write to past, present or future you. It could be along the lines of advice, forgiveness, a recent funny story, your current goals, reminder or a simple debrief of what your day included. Seal it with date that you want to revisit your letter, keeping it within a relevant timeline of the contents. I'm sure once you return you'll be blown away by how far you've come and your heart will be forever warmed.
4. Eat nourishing food
Foods can massively affect the way we feel about ourselves, that's why eating nourishing, energising food is a priority. I say keep it clean and plant based, don't restrict any of your macros or as they're there for a reason. Intuitive eating is listening to your body and it's needs then complying. This like any healthy habit can take a little trial and error but will eventually become auto-pilot.
5. Make effort for yourself
You know all that time and energy you have poured into someone or something else simply because it's 'what I should do' or 'the right thing to do'? Well now it's time to pour all of that attention, I know you have up your sleeve, on yourself. The centre of your universe is you and it's time to treat yourself as though you are. Don't attend that event if it compromises your mental health and don't move your needs aside for another. Say 'yes' and 'no' wisely keeping in mind your number one asset. You. If people get butt hurt by your decisions that has nothing to do with you and all to do with them, this can be tricky but don't forget it.
6. Put it on paper
Gratitude, prayers, goals and lessons all come together hand in hand. What we've learnt, what we wish to learn and what we wish to create now with the tool of experience. Keeping a paper diary or journal not only is a lovely act it can help you get a better understanding and grasp on how you tick. To look back on when you need a little guidance or if you have some to offer future you. Writing always blows out the cobwebs and alleviates an overthinking mind... trust me on this one...
7. Purposefully talk to yourself more
I know this one sounds a little kooky but getting really familiar with something is the only way you're going to be able to change it, from the inside-out. How you talk to and about yourself is a major indication of how you feel about yourself. Start of with a common topic like what you want for dinner and then make it your job to have a conscious conversation with yourself everyday. This is yet another healthy practice that will kick into auto pilot in no time.
8. Switch it off
Spend at least 15 minutes everyday in sleep mode. No, knocked-out-couldn't-wake-me-in-a-hurricane-sleep doesn't count, more of a mindful silence with no distractions. Turn off your phone, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Let your body relax and let your heart come back to you. Your mind will wander, this is all part of the process, a gentle reminder is all it takes to return to be with the rise and fall of your chest. Plug yourself back into the universe just like you plug in your phone to charge.
9. Progress over perfection
The first step to welcoming self love into your life for good is to know that it is a continual process and perfection is nonexistent. Moments that pause the busy overworked cogs of your mind are to never be skimped on and always treated with care. Wanting to better your relationship with yourself is a beautiful thing, if people in your life don't accept your changes and new stance you may have to reevaluate where they sit on the importance ladder. Don't be afraid of change, change is filled with new opportunities and it means you're expanding with every breath you take. Learn to appreciate the journey, it can knock you about but with these knocks you can only get stronger.
Stay present, stay peaceful, stay open and smell the flowers, they're gorgeous.